Saturday, 8 July 2017


Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF
I made up a list of drug names once to take the piss out of someone and now you could have them in planescape chummer
  1. Pixie jizz: sparkly paste rubbed on gums, eyelids, genitals. Giddiness, lightheadedness euphoria , pleasant "tingles" . Made from boiled slugs that feed on solely pixie excrement. Prolonged use can cause glowing and semi-musical insects noise from application area,
  2.  Moxie jam:  Apples of eden, the golden apples, the peaches of immortality , Moxie Jam will not be containing them. Instead the fruit it's made of is from  hybrids , clandestine cultivars, horrible predecessor strains , neglected divine gardens.    Even then it's only the fruit that could not be sold as is ; the rotten, stolen, hideous ugly dangerous, cursed, and still pleading. Even the "jam" is a  kindness because it has the bare amount of liquid in it to keep the active ingredients concentrated without making unnecessary heavy, so "tar" is a better term.  It tastes like vinegar gone very off, with seeds in it. And often hair for some reason.  It gives overwhelming confidence and feelings of health and dangerous levels of optimism. Excessive use results in one's physical age varying depending on ones emotional state. Heavy long term use can actually kill  from aging brought on by a minor disappointment.
  3. Moon Milk: hopefully this isn't involved  . It is probably is though. Okay it definitely is. It's a depressant causing extraordinary hallucinations and lucid dreams. However there's a risk of the hallucinations becoming real, lingering delusions , being physically transported to what you are dreaming about or becoming imaginary yourself.  The effete opium addicts equivalent of urban free climbing. 
  4. Squirts: some horrible little sea tulip thing that releases a neurotoxin when threatened. If you rear them with a shitty diet the neurotoxin is a "fun" dissociative rather than a fatal one. Use is by keeping the gross little purple thing in your mouth and chewing on it to make it try and poison you. Heavy use guarantees immobility and loss of bladder control. There's a joke in the name there. At best you still look like you mostly survived a stroke though.
  5. God's assholes: really it's a jumped up little fig with some mild euphoric effects and not so minor synesthesia , it would of been all but forgotten if it didn't look like such a weird anus thing.  It's like a novelty party drug that people bring out sometimes and then everyone forgets about it entirely or moves on to something heavier.
  6. Holy rammers: people keep thinking they should take this in the butt. No-one knows who started this rumour but it's terrible, it just burns, tends to block things up and is way less effective. It's a dwarven stimulant , a plug of some chalky paste that's put far up the nose to steadily trickle down the back of the nasal cavity. It alleviates the need for sleep and gives a fiercely focused but passive concentration , like oral or written memorization. A life time of abusing this makes you basically unable to multitask at all.
  7.  Tartarian  cumquuats : these look like dried eyes from an animal that uses its eyes as a weaponized sex organ. Eating 2-3 of them is like being day drunk on a too-hot summer day, but lasting like 16 hours.  Booze is better than this, in basically every way other than duration, it only has a market niche because Sigil has so many tourists looking to do something that sounds dangerous but no-one wants to sell them anything that makes them harder to deal with than the average drunk.  It's not even from anything dangerous just a shitty plant.
  8. Vipples: this is a dangerously broad term  for anything that's tobacco plus something something. It's a halfling thing and every family has its secret vipples recipe. Generally it makes you barely able to get off your chair and you see things.  Generally. However it's not uncommon for  patchy blindness, loss of feeling in 1 or more limbs , or compulsive pika.
  9. Astral nails: It's likely that this was some form of military psychic defense but what it is now is black pins of something like hot ice than you have to physically drive into your own eyeball so it's equally possible it was actually a torture mechanism.  On astral nails you will find your thoughts tend to electrocute each other for dominance and generally one thought will dominate for continuous stretches, just the one thought over and over again . You are basically immune to confusion or manipulation caused by psychic attacks . But at the cost of actually structural damage to the skull and brain  (can modify any saving throw vs a mental attack so it's a success by taking damage equal to how much it was a failure by) . Only really used for recreational purposes if you hate thinking.
  10. Black-muggler:  like molasses with poorly crushed charcoal mixed in it , or unevenly heated tar. It's the honey made by an Mud Bee, which are flightless, eat and build out of mud rather than pollen and wax, found along the river styx when it nears the very edge of lawful planes and have cruel thorn like stingers.  Black-muggler is used by winding its thick goop on a spoon , stick or finger and then sucking on it for hours. Acting as a powerful soporific , the user becomes lost in their own distorted idealised memories. Long term use dyes the gums black, cause the teeth to stick out at weird angles and gradually rewrites the users own memory. 
  11. Sideways: it's a conceptual drug .  Someone is either understands it or they get it. If you understand it, it doesn't seem like anything that crazy or inconceivable really . If you get it (because someone who understands it patiently explains it to you in a whisper) then you really get it, seeing this whole new direction just there, all the time. The user just seems to be strangely amused and alternately terrified, and disappears and reappears whenever attention is not on them.  People who understand it are basically unaffected carriers , capable of making good money whispering it (the nature of the concept requires some words to be both heard and misheard at the same time ) to payers. It takes 5 minutes to explain it and can only be explained a number of times per week per Intelligence point.                        In game terms: If a character is exposed to sideways, you roll and conceal a d20. The player then guess a number from 1 till 20. If they are correct , they are an understander not a getter.            (  However some gangs now consider them their  property  or atleast some of their brain to be) If the character is instead getting it  anytime the characters location isn't explicitly somewhere , they can stay in an undefined state until it becomes relevant and why , then they choose where to be (that's still feasible that they could of got there) This "quantum state" lasts 1d6 hours. However even taking Sideways once causes an ongoing extradirectional risk : If that player forgets their character sheet to any game session, then that character is more or less lost forever.
  12. Ipple:  like a boiled sweet that periodically ejaculates in your mouth. When it's a sweet it's like a really strong coffee that you almost regret, and when it ejaculates it's like a having a mild but 2 minute long orgasism. It's a lot of ejaculate though, like I hope you weren't in the middle of saying something.  It's actually someone kind of semi-crystalline psychic jellyfish-polyp   that is actually ejaculating eggs or sperm in your mouth and psychically stimulating the pleasure centres. What is possibly a worry is that jellyfishes have rather complex life cycles and no-one is sure what is happening with all the sperm and eggs people are spitting out or washing down the gutter and it's possible the next life stage is going to be problem.
  13. The Whites: colours have been shown to effect mode and this one definately does . Taken by beaming a particular type of light via some complicated prisms (orginally from the Plane of Radiance bordering the Mineral Plane) directly into an eye, it basically causes a fit but in a nice way. Post fit mood is greatly enhanced and colours seem brighter for about 3 hours. Periodical blindness episodes on and off for about 10 hour afterwards. Sometimes peoples eyes catch fire from over use or partially crystalize. The crysatline eyes can be used to make more prisms! Hooray
  14. Pain: ground up suffering from the lower planes. Why would anyone take this? Well, it turns out other people's pain is never as bad as your own and it's cathartic to experience it. Okay it's fucked up, it's like huffing petrol but it's black ground glass and then agony spasms and fragmented false memories and you ain't doing shit for about 2 hours. A little bit is like pepper in food but for physical sensations though. It is literally made from grinding up souls in the worse machines the fiends can think of though but it's sort of ethical consumption in that it's sustainable 
  15. Loam riddlers: Like sea-sponge prion moving around your brain making impossible connections. Mostly temporarily. From Brain veins , as in the mineral vein.
  16. Far-go, You are very far  inside your self. Like you are an ant driving the meat titan. It's literally a fresh perspective
  17. Ripe melons, it's booze but the crazy booze everyone accuses tequila of being. Actually a crab.
  18. Slume, Heavy metal slime. you will glow and go rubbery and time dilutes 
  19.  ungus, this goes up the butt. Confidence power, possible organ falure and miniature gravity anomlys
  20. Thrips, illusionary insects living in your eyes make thing fun
  21. Pure mild, lawful netural good distilled into the ultimate anodyne 
  22. the shats, Like eating glass, screaming glass. Like being maniac and dangerously awake your whole life. From pandemonia but the sigil homebake is said to be nearly as good by discerning thrill-killers in the know. 
  23. Dimensional warts : You get given a spiral on a bit of paper and you stare at it until one starts burrowing into your head. For the next 3-4 weeks you have mood swings but most of the moods aren't ones that conventionally exist.
  24. theorys (maths-sick, mathsik) sometimes rogue modrons attempt to get let back in by writing a dissertation on how they were right. Frustratingly for them other modrons never read it and everyone else can just physically eat the material it was written on to get fucked up. Theorys makes unconnected things seem connected to you, like annoying stoner insights. However, you are kinda right some of them time . The d.m rolls a die when you take it and you can swap out a roll for it but you have to use it for next 2 significant rolls after this. As well explain how your characters insights make all this abstract mechanic dodoory work.
  25. Oh-Nos: little boiled lolly . When you finished sucking it , you are catatonic , hallucinating and it feels like forever .Who likes infinite k-holes? 
  26. Repentant uranium : a fine glowing powder, snort  everything feels really really really okay . Causes hair loss but not in a radioactive way. You can't gain or loss expiernce while one the effects of repentant uranium . Last about 2 hours per dose. Taking more than 6 does in a day period means you will vomit up an organ but not fatally. 
  27. Ick a slime mold collected from the plane of ooze. Make a cut , introduce it in , and it grows under the skin like new veins. Flattens out your emotions (immune to mechanics based on excessive emotion like fear but including morale type ones and bless). Lasts 2-3 days  and you cough up light periodically. . Heavy use causes weird vein formation.
  28. oh-god-nos, oh nos but more "lucid dreamy", but users describe it like being nigh-omnipotent and not at all omniscient and it goes very wrong 
  29. Um you see too much space from this inky eye drop. Like everything is extremely far apart, like you see still molecules and not the space they occupy. Made from boiled space.
  30. Unsound, you stick you head in this bell , and they ring it and suddenly you can't hear anything but it's this super silence is super interesting and meaningful. Lasts a bout 3 hours.
  31.  ghost pussy: it's the nectar sucked from a night blooming flower with an unnecessary lewd name (also see Ripe Melons ). Gives delightful body tingles and cold shivers. The same leering punishers who named this say it's like being fucked by a ghost but come on,  it's more like lite foreplay.
  32. bum, like booze for your body or your mind but never both. Tastes like if you could make booze from tar. 
  33.  poorman's ghost pussy actually harder to get and more expensive than ghost pussy. A lot closer to actual ghost sex. Might of been sourced by someone misunderstanding what ghost pussy was, and since it can result in possession of limbs ,  necromancy and necrophilia could be involved. Let's not ask and say we did ask and it was sustainable and ethical
  34. Glass secret, little vials dropped in the ear, words factualate , senses are  enhanced, any memories formed while on this become recallable only on another dose of this.
  35.  My-ladys-frills, a polypore , that causes giggle, intoxication and lip discolouration and inflammation of membranes (lips, eyes) post use
  36. Bury-my-wood-deep, sometimes sold as an viagra, more of an over talker, it's boiled  yggdrasil squirrel piss after they have eaten post mushroom. Looks a lot like phlegm but chewy. 
  37. batmites, chittering tick like things, but asymmetrical. Bite down on really hard and they crack like a tooth.  From looning ethereal manta rays. You hallucinate friends that seem to alter reality.
  38. Ratwine  regular rat wine is just made from rat piss. The real-deal ratwine  has mashed rats-livers in it , and the rats are bio accumulators and so it can be a bit of anything else.
  39. Baatorian Whippit: A gas kept in sharp little glass bulbs. Meant to be used to intensify torture and prevent death to massive shock, as it increases sensation while preventing excessive bleeding and heart irregularities.  Can be used to "stabilize" someone on negative hitpoints, e.g they won't die or lose more hitpoints, but boy will they feel it . Also used for brutal sex and if you huff enough it's like glue but worse.
  40. Regret: memory enhancer, makes one recall a memory very clearly . Has a reputation to make one maudlin but there's nothing particular depressive about it. A Spanish Moss that is smoked.
  41. OverThereTime: like a chrome hairball that causes eerie coincidences or atleast the ability to notice them.  Makes tedium interesting and tends to cause the user to stumble on interesting opportunities via reduced inhibitions,  rather unpredictable though. You boil up enough phase spider webs and you get this stuff. Smoked
  42. Bullswallow: it's not sperm, it's pre-cum and it builds muscle like crazy and gives mad-energy. Does what energy drinks claim to do. The bulls in question are found on Acheron. It's not an easy task , considering the sperm will cause Minotaur-pox.
  43. Busy Mister: a peppery snuff that makes one confident and peppy. However moderate to heavy use can cause to cause a condition described as "doing fuck-all really fast" It's made from soot scraped from the  chimneys of wealthy fiend residence of Sigil and someone should really check what they are burning.
  44. Fight-me-gum: a scrubby pugnacious  shrub-tree that grows on the upper layers of the abyss that looks like a barbed wire pube scarecrow tree is tapped for sap. The oddly opaque gray sap is then mixed with rough ground glass and then chewed like torture-gum. It makes you really fighty and drunk and indifferent to pain.
  45.  Ditto: Said to be made from doppelganger eggs, cum , or brains, which is ridiculous as they reproduce by ritual drowning mirrors on moonless night. Ditto is made from an algae found on sewer pipes, especially near the Clerks Ward, dried into a powder and smoked in a pipe. Smells like feet, but replicates the mood and mental state of the previous night. Would be more popular but the tenancy to cough up motile phlegm that keeps whispering your secrets. 
  46. Omega particle: Nets , like violently asymmetrical dream catchers, made of undead spider webs are used on the Negative Material edges of various quasi-elemental planes to catch these. It requires a lot of patience and a keen eye to notice the single spark that signify a particles catch. It's a pin-black spark inserted into the eye and it negates the need for sleep and food for a week but at the cost of 2 years of aging. 
  47. Breakage: If you get a small mammal and force it back and forth through portals until it it dies of shock and then cut out it's pineal gland you have Breakage. Being on Breakage is like being drunk , maniac, and panicky and clumsy. Like a bad adrenaline dump and real good E
  48. Vital dust: powder from mummys , no-ones sure which mummys or what gets done to make it not cause mummy rot. The sellers of it keep their secrets but have been know to buy or source more mummys. Basically causes an user to fall asleep standing rigid with their eyes open, dreaming but somehow hyper-aware of their surroundings. 
  49. Witch: dedicate mushrooms that grow on certain sleepers , look like shy but weaponized umbrella. Dissolve quickly in the mouth or hand into a potent purple-black ink. Unbalancing like "sealegs" , plus insight, sudden spurts of racing thoughts, and a "fun" paranoia. Excessive use will stain the pigment of the eyes as well mouths.
  50. Saint's plunge : a sugar cane like stalk that's boiled down to lewd pink looking molasses. Rubbed on gums or any blood vessel rich body part. Tastes like way too much rose-water. Makes one tingley and frighteningly certain about their decisions


  1. Normal princesses would have stopped at like 1d8 cool drugs. What makes you so amazing is the preposterously huge volume of awesome you regularly bring forth.

  2. 'Who will need this?', you ask, in your labels.

    The fact is, we *all* needed this. We just didn't know it yet.